Between the Alpha and the Omega (+ My Pal Lexipro)

by Winnie BrumsickleNovember 25, 2021

The Media must make a ton of money off of viruses and life-shattering courtroom trials because they will.not.shut.up about them, as if we’re too stupid to make decisions based on facts and shifting science that can’t be trusted no matter how much click-bait it attracts. It’s enough to make us depressed and anxious! Hmmm…

After the post about my addiction to alcohol, I realized that I still felt the same way basically all the time, except maybe from the moment I woke up to seven minutes into the day, at which point my mind would pick up a resentment or that hefty existential void. So, I went to see Dr. Fothergill, told her I didn’t know what normal is for a post-menopausal woman, and she prescribed LEXAPRO, which scared the sh– out of me. HOWEVER……

Why is there such a stigma around anti-depressants?! Lexi SAVED MY LIFE! Can’t it be possible that our society is too dang fast or intense or flickery to keep up? Can’t a girl’s serotonin decrease to debilitating levels and she can just put some back in?! YES. Honestly this stuff is awesome, makes my insides match my outsides and I want to put up Lexipro Kiosks on street corners in case people don’t know. Oh wait, Big Pharma already did that, ok.

Here’s a cool side-effect: Lexi has helped grow me in compassion, it goes like this: Steve and I are EMS volunteers and he’s a nurse. Our scanner/radio goes off all the time announcing that island people have overdosed, fallen, can’t breathe, are dead, dying, panicking or can’t get off the floor/toilet/bed and need assistance. We both know we are queued up hard in that line of Significant Medical Events. We respond in our capacities, but honestly, for me it’s just so I don’t think about myself all the live-long-day. Humans hurt so much, even the lucky ones! Gabor Mate says we are all victims of untreated trauma, gotta love that guy. He’s right! We are ALL stuck between the Alpha (beginning) and the Omega (end). Let’s be gentle with each other.

This holiday season my secret plan is to wash dishes. I plan to choose gifts with care and intention, wrap them neatly (maybe add a twig), eat things (sometimes alone over the sink), and wash dishes. I’ll be where my hands and feet are in order to love those around me, time is short. I’m not great at it because when you drinked (sic) like I did there was only the past to regret/feel anxious about/try feverishly to undo; the future to fear + try to control; and tinkly glasses in my hand that actually didn’t work to alleviate those first two, no matter how much got tinkled. I plan to sit with people I love and lean into their moments. And take my pill, heck yeah!

Mike Galligan is a Friday Harbor fisherman who used to pass around bumper stickers that just said “READY?”. No joke I literally CRIED one time thinking about the depth and theology wrapped into that one little word (there’s still one on the wall at The Little Store which I may peel off). What are we ready for? I want to be ready to love others because we’re all on our way out. What does that mean? Here’s what one dude says it means (from The Message, a translation by Eugene Peterson):

4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head,

5 Doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

6Doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

7 Puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

8 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.

9 We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete.

10But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

I love you with medical assistance, and hope you have a wonderful day! Enjoy your life. If you can’t, it’s ok to get help.

Oh, and today is the last day to buy these, just sayin’: ERIN & WIN’S HOLIDAY SPECIAL

This post has 12 comments

Weyshawn Douglas Koons
25 Nov 2021

I love you Winnie Brumsickle. You make our world a better place with your vulnerability and compassion and all you do to support other people, in good times and bad. I love your creativity and the way you look at life. Thanks for sharing your heart, your wisdom and your insight. Happy Thanksgiving!
1. Winnie
  25 Nov 2021
  
  You’re my hero!
James Taylor
25 Nov 2021

Thank you, Winnie. Your words on this day soothed the savage beast in me. Much pain this holiday season. Long story.
Somehow I’ve stayed sober for 6 years, bare knuckled. We belong to the same “club.”
Wish I knew you better.

Thanks again,

The Other, James Taylor
1. Winnie
  26 Nov 2021
  
  James, no more white knuckles, bro’! We got you… wb
Cathy Gover
25 Nov 2021

Love you❤️❤️
1. Winnie
  26 Nov 2021
  
  Always a place for you and yours, Cath!
Judith Thordarson
25 Nov 2021

I would like to place an order for the gift box. I am right here in Friday Harbor. This Thanksgiving in the rain and children elsewhere. That is why I happened upon your site, and not preparing turkey. Please let me know how to order.

Thank you,
Judy Thordarson
1. Winnie
  26 Nov 2021
  
  Judy you’re a gem, thank you for your email (and order) 🙂 wb
JO F ANDREWS
26 Nov 2021

Dear Winnie,
I love the title! Very inspiring piece of writing. Thank you! Jo
1. Winnie
  27 Nov 2021
  
  Thank you, Jo! I hope you have a wonderful season!
Sharon Hooper
27 Nov 2021

Dearheart, This is one of the loveliest, most honest, vulnerable, sweet posts I’ve ever read. The depth of your sharing is a light for others in this crazy world. Please continue, in future, with more heartfelt posts such as this one. My love to you.
1. Winnie
  27 Nov 2021
  
  I learned from the best, Sharon – you have taught me so much! Love to you all! WB