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I did it! I finally did it.

I made the decision to spend money on myself and scheduled… a hair appointment.

I know. Groundbreaking, right?

The funny part is, I can’t even take full credit for this decision. It was actually my husband who reminded me, ever so gently, that being “more utilitarian” isn’t somehow “more worthy.”

It’s ironic, really, considering everything I just shared last week.

Somewhere deep down, I think Part of me had started to believe that spending time and money on myself was completely unnecessary.

The Unseen Cost of Deprivation

It sounds almost silly saying it out loud. Or rather, writing it here. But I’ve noticed this pattern creeping in.

I tell myself that if I spend money or time on anything non-essential, I’m being wasteful.

So I put off the haircut, stop doing my makeup, stop wearing cute outfits… I skip the little things that make ME feel good. And somehow, that’s supposed to make everything okay.

But it doesn’t.
In fact, it does the opposite. It chips away, slowly but surely, at the belief that I am worthy of my own time, care, and attention.

The Lie of “Just Enough”

It’s funny how easily that voice creeps in. The one that says I should only want “just enough.”

The irony is, I’ll buy a gift or make time for a friend without a second thought.
I love spending time and money on the people who matter to me.

But by not spending money—or time—on myself, I’m saying:
“I am not important to me.”

It’s not even about the time or money, really. It’s about what it represents.
It’s about telling myself, over and over, that I don’t get to be a priority.

The Real Investment

So maybe this is just a reminder to myself… 
That it’s okay to spend the money on me.
That it’s okay to take the extra five minutes to get ready… make it ten!
That it’s okay to order the fancy latte, schedule the hair appointment, and wear the shoes that make me feel like a million bucks.

Because it’s not selfish to be a priority to myself.

In fact, it’s the opposite.
When I stop holding myself to some unmeasurable standard of “utility,” I can stop walking around with some of the guilt of not being enough.
When I spend my valuable money and my valuable time on taking care of myself, I am reminded how much I mean to me.

And when I feel loved and valued by myself, I can show up so much better for everything and everyone else in my life.

I guess that’s the real investment.

With love & gratitude,
Lydia