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NOT going crazy running a huge house frees up a lot of time! You can read about how going small went down for Steve and me by clicking here. So, here’s a list of things you can maybe do with all your free time (links in bold):

Make Stuff

You can make stuff! I make a ton of stuff. I love to turn “nothing” into “something” that people find interesting enough to buy at local arts shows and on this site. I spend half of the time doing this, so there’s plenty of time to….

Sculpt Eyebrows in a Mag Mirror

You can finally have intentionally sculpted brows! For Christmas one year Mom gave me and my Bad A – – Sister magnification mirrors of our own because we constantly used hers to examine every feature of our faces and necks in proper lighting. This began a lifelong habit of examining all things tiny on my face in a mag mirror, brand name “Mr. Big Eye”. Why it’s a MISTER is beyond me because I can count on one microscopic finger how many times Steve looked in it and yelped, never to look again. But be warned, the later-life bummer about Mr. Big Eye is that wrinkles are very much closer than they appear, so focus on the eyebrows. If you have never focused on your eyebrows for 30+ minutes each, here are some extreme closeup, before/afters to get you started. Warning: BIG.EYED!

Volunteer

Then you can volunteer your brains out to avoid the tyrannical gaze of Mr. Big Eye. People will thank you for volunteering. My own purposes for volunteering are selfish to the core, so when people thank me I giggle nervously like I just got caught in a bitty indiscretion.

Eat Sugar or Scheme About Eating Sugar Later

Sugar is an absolute GO TO for the life gone small, especially for people who don’t drink or smoke or shop (much) any more, or after sex takes a bit of a turn. The options for things to get addicted to are numerous and weird, enough so that The Learning Channel created an entire series around it so that you can keep track of all of them and really learn something useful in your free time, I guess if you run out of sugary stuff or booze. INEXPENSIVE, PLENTIFUL and ACCEPTABLE; I suggest that you stick with fat stacks of raw sugar in its many forms. You may have a problem if you eat it before 3p.m. – nothing that “It’s 3pm somewhere!” can’t instantly knock down. I confess, when people lament that they “…feel so much better since I gave up sugar 20 minutes ago!” I secretly hate them and am certain they are big liars.

Flip Around the Internet and Land on AliExpress and Craigslist

If you’re cheap, LET ME TELL YOU THE WONDERS of AliExpress and Craigslist for affordable fashion and BMWs respectively! AliExpress is the outlet of Asia’s giant Alibaba wholesale website, a BONANZA of bargains and crap to fill up houses! Their Amazon, really, except you can’t track shipments or send anything back and they super don’t care if you like your purchase. Here are some tips: Find stuff and ‘heart’ it; a window will pop up with the exact same stuff for less money. Ha! Plus, if you put in “genuine leather loafer” instead of just “leather” you’ll increase the likelihood by like 60% of getting something as described. Now about those BMWs, the world is peppered with really nice used ones. Genuine status-mobile, BMW people also buy garages and service contracts, and – here’s the clincher – new BMW’s. So you can get a killer BMW for not a ton of money, then people might think you’re a Genuine BMW-type and because Americans seem to have no trouble insulting rich people with impunity, it makes for a good snub filter.

Watch “Abandoned Mansions” and “Natalie King Lit” Vids

To see how it “shook out in the long run” for people in the past like us who built Huge Dream Houses, pop up the corn and search “Abandoned Mansions” on YouTube. Mute the commentary because without exception these formerly significant mansions are documented by vocabulary-impaired dimwits (who break and enter). You’ll also notice that mansions still standing have solid roofs, a testimony to spending piles of money on roofing. These old dumps fascinate me, almost as much as Natalie King Lit’s video blog, which is mostly hilarious and definitely cringeworthy in the most complimentary way. Natalie lives here in Friday Harbor, so, I know her well enough to wave a lot and she to buy my fragrances. You have to slow down and LISTEN. I get distracted from the content sometimes because I can’t tell if she’s got a buzz on, or is just so sexy-town that she really talks like that! I then get distracted by her house, her outfits, her ethereal beauty and how she’s so utterly marvelous even when she’s on the – – – or upside down. Natalie’s probably been on display a bunch, which I think legitimizes her whole effort because now she’s on display on HER terms, and says stuff like: “I like my cappuccino foam just right so I call ahead!” My daughter wondered if I was going to ask Natalie’s permission to write about her, to which I answered, “Definitely not, someone who posts like Natalie does will.not.care.” Go look! But you have to wait for it. Have a pen ready so you can repost one liners to make you seem smart.

And that’s it in a nutshell!

My secret purpose for blog posts should be to “direct traffic to your website and maximize conversion using these five simple methods!” But I don’t actually care about keywords like NICHE PERFUMERY and HANDMADE HANDBAGS and FRIDAY HARBOR. I don’t. People who have all kinds of time to tell you how to get rich on the internet are liars. You have to wonder why they have so much time to tell you about it if business is so boomy. Just sayin’.

I love you for reading all the way down to the bottom, I really do! Your comments are nice, and yes increase my rankings. But honestly, I’m going to make this stuff anyway, I guess that if I die under a pile of it, it would be a decent way to go. 😉

Win

p.s.

Can’t believe this red Momentum Handbag Linda Satchel is still available on ebay! She’ll NEVER sell for $95. I offered $25 just as a favor but heard nothing. Yes, yes, L-ing O L!